Apr 11, 2011

Selfish Mommy? Advice Needed!

Alright moms, I need your help!

Now that Matthew is old enough to go to the gym daycare room, I can start working out during the day instead of waiting until after the boys go to bed at night. And let's be honest. Who has energy to work out at night after chasing after two kids all day long?! When John was a baby, I was still teaching so obviously working out during the day wasn't an option. So, this is all a new mom experience for me!

A couple weeks ago I took both boys with me to the gym, dropped them off in the daycare room (for the first time!!), and headed off to the group exercise class. I was actually really bored with the class (who wants to do 50 lunges in a row? BORING!!) so I was happy the daycare lady had to come get me after 20 minutes because John was crying. Well, not happy that John was crying, but happy I had a good excuse to leave the class! I think John must have gotten a little freaked out that I wasn't there so once I calmed him down and got him playing with some cars, he was perfectly fine and didn't want to leave when I was done working out.

So, here is what I am struggling with. I feel like I am being really selfish to leave them in this room (with people I don't know!) just so I can work out for an hour. I know that John will be fine playing with toys and can be around new friends. I know Matthew will be fine, although I am worried about how much attention he will get since he can't crawl or anything yet. I just feel like I technically can work out at night and not have to leave them during the day. We are usually so busy during the week (why was I ever worried I would be bored being a stay-at-home mom?!) that I would probably only make it to the gym during the day once or twice a week anyways so it isn't like I am totally leaving my children all the time.

Brad says that I need to do things like that for myself so I don't go crazy...and drive him crazy. :) He said he would be worried about me if I didn't want to do things for myself. I DO want to do things for myself, but I feel guilty for dragging the kids along with me just so I can work out. If I were leaving the boys with a family member (grandparent, aunt, etc) I would be totally fine because I know they are getting some special time with special people. Maybe it is the fact they are being left with strangers that makes me feel put off by it?

So, what do you guys think? Anyone have the same issue when you started back to the gym and eventually got over it?

I mean, who would want to be away from these cuties for more then 1 minute?! :)

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  1. Leave your "Mommy guilt" at the gym door !!! There is nothing wrong with you going to the gym during the day, the boys can play in the daycare room. Then when the boys go to sleep at night, you and Brad have time together.


  2. I think about exercise as a way to make me a better Mom. It helps me be happier and have more energy to play with my kids, and I'll be alive and active longer as they get older. I also like that it sets and example to my kids that they should be healthy and exercise. They'll be fine and have fun and you are close by if they need you. Enjoy yourself!

  3. As someone who used to be an assistant manager at a gym and the head manager of the the daycare room I would have to say that it's great for you and the kids... try not to worry about the strangers thing, and if you are really worried ask the manager or assistant manager if they do police screening or criminal record checks and first aid checks on the employees that work in the daycare room... most do! I know that the times my daughter went to the daycare room she got lots of attention and had lots of fun too! Its a great way for you all to get out, socialize, switch up your routine and you get to have a little time to yourself! Enjoy it and yes that feeling of leaving them goes away:)

  4. You're singing my song. I was a teacher and never got to do anything during the day. And then I got to quit teaching...and the same problem arose.

    My husband helped me when he advised/explained/suggested to "put the big rock in the glass first". Get your prayer/quiet time done early in the day. Then exercise. B/c if you put it off to the end the day...there will always be a reason/excuse to let it slip by.

    Only a suggestion...Happy Easter

  5. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I have to tell you, I know of so many moms who do the martyr thing and put everyone else first at their own expense, and that never ends well for anyone. Obviously, that doesn't mean we should lock our children in dog crates all day while we lounge about reading Twilight (because I have never once ever ever considered that...), but it's good to find a balance between "it's all about them" and "it's all about me." I don't have that figured out completely myself, but I think an hour at the gym is a perfectly reasonable way to make time for yourself at no expense to the kids (who will probably get more and more comfortable there as you keep going). That's my two cents' worth, anyway. Good luck!

  6. Jen,

    I go through the same emotions with the same situation!

    I am not sure there is a right or wrong answer.

    I guess I just try to base it off what I feel drawn to the most that day. Sometimes the gym wins because blowing off the extra steam will make me a better Mom and some days E wins because I just need to eat an ice cream with her and forget the gym

    Day by day with me.

    You are an amazing Mom no matter what!



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